recently, i adopt a pretty strange habit (where i have no choice, actually) which i do this "thing" basically for no real destination or heading no where at all.
it completely violates my way of living for so many years.
but the strange things is i begin to discover the another side of me.
i have no idea it would only be a transictional thing or really something lives inside me while i was born. i guess, i still have time to find out.
have to say i am not liking it at the beginning and now it unfolds something where i didn't know before.
may be i have changed along the way.....
09 December 2007
22 November 2007
today should be the happiest day...
i thought i would be at least a happy day, but right from the start i just don't feel any happy at all.
at noon, i wonder why would i be here.
in the evening, i wonder how come i wasted so many years.
this is how i felt about my last day at work.
in fact, i am pertty good at turning something really ugly into something motivated.
but on the other hand, i am very bad at keeping things off my head.
at noon, i wonder why would i be here.
in the evening, i wonder how come i wasted so many years.
this is how i felt about my last day at work.
in fact, i am pertty good at turning something really ugly into something motivated.
but on the other hand, i am very bad at keeping things off my head.
16 November 2007
dream machine? no way
if superman li could wake up everyday at 05:55 for his goft pressure, i could do better than that.
if superman li could has $XXXXXX asset, i could "not" do better than that "now". :(
forget about the bull, recently just can't stand the lazy me at all. trying to get up earlier and have some exercise before an official start of the day. trying so hard to find something which i lost during all these years - me.
changing habit is not a easy task, i think i need a helping hand - a newly bought "dream machine". that is something you saw in the picture. well, it did a pretty good job on the very first day. probably the excitment makes me wake rather than the sound it makes; it felt all the way right in the very next day. :( probably it needs some more time.
by the way, if something wake you up in the middle of the dream and call themselves "dream machine", there got to be something wrong in this world, isn't it?
15 November 2007
what kind of partner do you got?
ask yourself when you told your partner that you are going to spend almost all your saving for just a toy, what would be his/her reaction?
i) didn't show any emotion on that, probably not interested of what you said or didn't know how to react. p.s. ask yourself is it that all or something underneath? (confused)
ii) black face, showing huge dislike about your decision, probably comparing his/her own status toward your toy or even judging your decision and his/her decision about being with you. (understandable)
iii) neutal, sound like it is your matter and actually it is but why bother telling in the first place? (rational enough)
iv) supporting, even contribute a part to it. (dream on pal)
any other type of reaction missing??? ha ha ha...
i) didn't show any emotion on that, probably not interested of what you said or didn't know how to react. p.s. ask yourself is it that all or something underneath? (confused)
ii) black face, showing huge dislike about your decision, probably comparing his/her own status toward your toy or even judging your decision and his/her decision about being with you. (understandable)
iii) neutal, sound like it is your matter and actually it is but why bother telling in the first place? (rational enough)
iv) supporting, even contribute a part to it. (dream on pal)
any other type of reaction missing??? ha ha ha...
13 November 2007
Converse All-Stars???
i remeber there was a time Converse launch a commercial showing various artist's All-Stars. they are including eddie vedder and so on.
this is no All-Stars and i ain't any musician but just loving the idea anyway. :)
09 November 2007
do i have any problem???
probably i was way too poor back then.
or i just don't have any pocket money to handle back then (as they said, they best period to learn handling money is during childhood)
or i just have no control at all.
recently, reading others' blog, seeing so many great pictures make me realize i wasn't taking much pictures.
it is a record of thing which matters to me.
it is no way to be a master piece anyway.
it is no way to be a master piece anyway.
when i gone, they will all gone too.
i guess it is part of me.
for better or worse, this is me.
09 July 2007
what does it matter???
it is never the price tag matter. it is all about the heart and effort behind it. thanks pal.but just wish that it wouldn't need it at the first place. man, it's heavy. :O
01 May 2007
COLLATERAL
Stuart Beattie
Frank Darabont
Michael Mann
Vincent:
To tell the truth, whenever I’m here, I can’t wait to leave. Too sprawled-out. Disconnected. You know…? But that’s me.
You like it here?
Max:
It’s home.
Vincent:
17 million people. This was a country, it would be the fifth biggest economy in the world. But nobody knows each other. Too impersonal. But that’s just me… you know…
I read about this guy. Gets on the MTA, here, and dies. Six hours he’s riding the subway before anybody notices. This corpse doing laps around LA, people on and off, sitting next to him, nobody notices.
Max:
I see your point. Yeah….
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Max:
Last thing I need is a reason to keep driving a cab. It’s temporary. I’m fillin’ in, you know, while this other thing I’m putting together is shaping up….
Vincent:
How long you been driving?
Max:
Twelve years.
Hardly temporary….
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vincent:
Look in the mirror.
…with your paper towels…a bottle of 409…a limo company someday. How much you got saved?
Max:
None of your business.
Vincent:
Your business “plan?” someday? “someday my dream’ll come…”?
And one night you’ll wake up and discover it all flipped on you. Suddenly you’re old. And it didn’t happen. And it never will. ‘Cause you were never going to do it, anyway. The dream on the horizon become yesterday and got lost. Then you’ll bullshit yourself, it could never have been, anyway. And you’ll recede it into memory….and zone out in a Barcalounger with daytime TV on for the rest of your life….
Don’t talk to me about killing. You’re do-in’ yourself. In this yellow-and-orange prison. Bit by bit. Every day.
All it ever took was a down payment on a Lincoln Town Car. What the hell are you still doing in a cab?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vincent:
YOU CAN’T WIN, MAX! I DO THIS FOR A LIVING!
Guy. Gets on a subway. Dies. Think anybody’ll notice?
Frank Darabont
Michael Mann
Vincent:
To tell the truth, whenever I’m here, I can’t wait to leave. Too sprawled-out. Disconnected. You know…? But that’s me.
You like it here?
Max:
It’s home.
Vincent:
17 million people. This was a country, it would be the fifth biggest economy in the world. But nobody knows each other. Too impersonal. But that’s just me… you know…
I read about this guy. Gets on the MTA, here, and dies. Six hours he’s riding the subway before anybody notices. This corpse doing laps around LA, people on and off, sitting next to him, nobody notices.
Max:
I see your point. Yeah….
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Max:
Last thing I need is a reason to keep driving a cab. It’s temporary. I’m fillin’ in, you know, while this other thing I’m putting together is shaping up….
Vincent:
How long you been driving?
Max:
Twelve years.
Hardly temporary….
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vincent:
Look in the mirror.
…with your paper towels…a bottle of 409…a limo company someday. How much you got saved?
Max:
None of your business.
Vincent:
Your business “plan?” someday? “someday my dream’ll come…”?
And one night you’ll wake up and discover it all flipped on you. Suddenly you’re old. And it didn’t happen. And it never will. ‘Cause you were never going to do it, anyway. The dream on the horizon become yesterday and got lost. Then you’ll bullshit yourself, it could never have been, anyway. And you’ll recede it into memory….and zone out in a Barcalounger with daytime TV on for the rest of your life….
Don’t talk to me about killing. You’re do-in’ yourself. In this yellow-and-orange prison. Bit by bit. Every day.
All it ever took was a down payment on a Lincoln Town Car. What the hell are you still doing in a cab?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vincent:
YOU CAN’T WIN, MAX! I DO THIS FOR A LIVING!
Guy. Gets on a subway. Dies. Think anybody’ll notice?
20 February 2007
Lonely, Sorry, Guilty
When we were not on the same page, I felt lonely.
When I looked at myself, I felt sorry.
When I have to sneak around. I felt guilty.
Tribute to my favorite band
Brain Damage (Waters) 3:50
The lunatic is on the grass.
The lunatic is on the grass.
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
Got to keep the loonies on the path.
The lunatic is in the hall.
The lunatics are in my hall.
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every day the paper boy brings more.
And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
The lunatic is in my head.
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
You lock the door And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.
And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear.
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
Eclipse (Waters) 2:04
All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy, beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All that's to come and everything under the sun is in tune but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.
When I looked at myself, I felt sorry.
When I have to sneak around. I felt guilty.
Tribute to my favorite band
Brain Damage (Waters) 3:50
The lunatic is on the grass.
The lunatic is on the grass.
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
Got to keep the loonies on the path.
The lunatic is in the hall.
The lunatics are in my hall.
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every day the paper boy brings more.
And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
The lunatic is in my head.
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
You lock the door And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.
And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear.
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
Eclipse (Waters) 2:04
All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy, beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All that's to come and everything under the sun is in tune but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.
16 February 2007
Where is my arm lost arm?
Couple years ago I was stung by the news that a hiker who trapped his arm underneath a giant rock. He wasn’t hurt in a sense that could possible kill him immediately. However, he couldn’t get away from the trap either. Knowing he could starve to death if he didn’t make his way out on time, since it is quite a remote area and it could take days or weeks in order for someone to find him trapped.
What would you do?
His choice is to deliberately break his trapped arm with a not very sharp army knife and make his way back in order to save himself.
This is a story keeps on my mind days in and out. Afterward, seeing him attend the night show with the confidence where we could hardly find in most people. Eventually, he becomes celebrity, not even keeps on climbing but also writing books, doing commercial and so on. I wonder if he could predict all these back there.
It could be a hard decision to make but keeps on wondering why get trapped in the first place could do not much help at the moment and obviously wouldn’t lead to any future at all.
He wouldn’t think much about why over and over again. That was then and this is now.
What a past could possibly offer is just a lesson; the future still need you to shape.
It is not wise at all to think about my lost arm; like where it is, how it is.
What would you do?
His choice is to deliberately break his trapped arm with a not very sharp army knife and make his way back in order to save himself.
This is a story keeps on my mind days in and out. Afterward, seeing him attend the night show with the confidence where we could hardly find in most people. Eventually, he becomes celebrity, not even keeps on climbing but also writing books, doing commercial and so on. I wonder if he could predict all these back there.
It could be a hard decision to make but keeps on wondering why get trapped in the first place could do not much help at the moment and obviously wouldn’t lead to any future at all.
He wouldn’t think much about why over and over again. That was then and this is now.
What a past could possibly offer is just a lesson; the future still need you to shape.
It is not wise at all to think about my lost arm; like where it is, how it is.
14 February 2007
Everyday is a brand new day.
There are times that I wish the next day will never come.
There are times that I wish the night wouldn’t be that long.
There are times I feel so reluctant to plan for another day.
There are times I feel so excited about the next day.
(even though it is getting rare this day)
In the end, it is just a single day out of our limited days in life.
Why don’t I treasure it like there won’t be another?
Each day is a pave for tomorrow.
Be positive. Plan it well and live it well.
There are times that I wish the night wouldn’t be that long.
There are times I feel so reluctant to plan for another day.
There are times I feel so excited about the next day.
(even though it is getting rare this day)
In the end, it is just a single day out of our limited days in life.
Why don’t I treasure it like there won’t be another?
Each day is a pave for tomorrow.
Be positive. Plan it well and live it well.
13 February 2007
Why I keep running???
There are countless times I wanted to stop in the middle of the road when the stress and plain are so huge to deal with and of course I still give in from time to time.
There are countless times I doubt myself why I am doing this and of course I still in doubt from time to time.
There are countless times I think it is stupid enough to do it any more and of course we all agree it is not the coolest thing in town.
I believe it is the simplicity attracts me.
It is like the kind of extended challenge where we have everyday.
Although I might not know how the next ride would be but the best part is I do know exactly where will be the finish line.
I do hope that more and more could find their ways to break away from this cold reality.
And find their strength required for another day.
What would you do then?
There are countless times I doubt myself why I am doing this and of course I still in doubt from time to time.
There are countless times I think it is stupid enough to do it any more and of course we all agree it is not the coolest thing in town.
I believe it is the simplicity attracts me.
It is like the kind of extended challenge where we have everyday.
Although I might not know how the next ride would be but the best part is I do know exactly where will be the finish line.
I do hope that more and more could find their ways to break away from this cold reality.
And find their strength required for another day.
What would you do then?
05 February 2007
It's all over now.
i thought it would be the hardest day ever but like i said before i am just a human. i still get tired, i still get hungry; it just a day with 24 hours like any other.
it may not sound as normal as it should but in the end it just a day with lot of memories and lot of regrets, that's all.
recently, it;s been too much backward looking already. it is about time to move ahead.
nothing stays forever. thing just slip off from your fingers without any pre-warning.
get yourself in the driving seat for a better tomorrow my friend.
it may not sound as normal as it should but in the end it just a day with lot of memories and lot of regrets, that's all.
recently, it;s been too much backward looking already. it is about time to move ahead.
nothing stays forever. thing just slip off from your fingers without any pre-warning.
get yourself in the driving seat for a better tomorrow my friend.
22 January 2007
Leave it & let it go.
i am only human, i could make mistakes and i will probably make some more mistakes in the future.
realizing my mistakes is the first thing to stop the same mistake from happening again.
human do change from time to time.
i said several things, make several promises under several situation.
understanding this is the way it is and start ending the pointless struggle.
don't make it harder than it should.
realizing my mistakes is the first thing to stop the same mistake from happening again.
human do change from time to time.
i said several things, make several promises under several situation.
understanding this is the way it is and start ending the pointless struggle.
don't make it harder than it should.
10 ways to lead a better life
10. be good to yourself since good times in life is so few these days
9. everyday makes it the best day you could possible be since it could be your last
8. keep your pace or people just pass you right away; forget about someone will stop by and say “how do you do?”, wake up to the reality and get yourself together or you will straight to bottom
7. make yourself heard, make it the best out of you and show them they were wrong, generosity takes a very small part in history
6. laying back is either for millionaire or loser, since you are not the first type, don’t group yourself to the latter one
5. you are not in the jazz business, nothing will be rewarded out of ad hoc. Plan it or lose it.
4. stack up your barging power or you will be cooked someday sooner or later
3. be focused and never lose sight of the big picture
2. keep watching the current situation and deal with it before it becomes fatal
1. it is your life not others
9. everyday makes it the best day you could possible be since it could be your last
8. keep your pace or people just pass you right away; forget about someone will stop by and say “how do you do?”, wake up to the reality and get yourself together or you will straight to bottom
7. make yourself heard, make it the best out of you and show them they were wrong, generosity takes a very small part in history
6. laying back is either for millionaire or loser, since you are not the first type, don’t group yourself to the latter one
5. you are not in the jazz business, nothing will be rewarded out of ad hoc. Plan it or lose it.
4. stack up your barging power or you will be cooked someday sooner or later
3. be focused and never lose sight of the big picture
2. keep watching the current situation and deal with it before it becomes fatal
1. it is your life not others
20 January 2007
what i am doing here?
Self help exercise
Take a pen and a paper, drop down the following:
10 reasons why are you doing here
10 reasons why shouldn’t’ be any more
10 things/person you wanted to spend time with
10 reasons why you didn’t
10 reasons why you would still around tomorrow
…no reason to drop anymore.
Take a pen and a paper, drop down the following:
10 reasons why are you doing here
10 reasons why shouldn’t’ be any more
10 things/person you wanted to spend time with
10 reasons why you didn’t
10 reasons why you would still around tomorrow
…no reason to drop anymore.
15 January 2007
12 January 2007
it hurts...
ah! it hurts so much. no idea it would hurt so much.
everthing seems pointless around here.
i wish i could but in the end appearantly, i couldn't lift myself from this "psychological sea sick" - everything from what i observe contradicted to what i believe.
i think i have to adimt is that i am just a human being and a vulnerable one i guess.
everthing seems pointless around here.
i wish i could but in the end appearantly, i couldn't lift myself from this "psychological sea sick" - everything from what i observe contradicted to what i believe.
i think i have to adimt is that i am just a human being and a vulnerable one i guess.
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